Imagine being stuck in your bedroom or a flat with absolutely no one to look after you or lend a helping hand. Nobody to care about how you’re coping with life. There’s nobody around to confide in about things that matter to you. No signs of anyone inviting you to share a happy moment. Having to do your shopping alone or enduring broken bones due to old age and osteoporosis but still no family help. Then living with the knowledge that when the curtains finally fall, no one will be attending your funeral. Where on earth in the 21st century could such human misery exist? At Tom Hanks’ Cast Away Island? Nope, it’s right here in Britain!
In a Guardian article (which I recommend reading before continuing), it exposes the true cruelty of loneliness and despair on its victims. The endless and constant mental bondage that these people go through is mortifying for any reader. Attention is only given to those people if they haven’t paid their bills or discovered dead incidentally, only after the door is broken down for collection of bills. When trying to understand what has gone wrong and wonder where the human traits of kindness, love, politeness, charity, brotherhood, sharing, helpfulness, sympathy and humanity have disappeared, it makes me wonder whether the authorities will ever sincerely look into this.
However, as with everything in the world today, apparently throwing money at the problem for a limited amount of time is going to slow down the problem and keep the public happy. The main cause of this is that nobody seems to care anymore and just want to pass on the buck to the next administration. David Cameron can talk about “Broken Society” to get elected but when in power all these policies and fancy ideas go down the drain. They might be very eloquent in identifying a problem in the society but deliver third class concepts to handle the problem. Does anyone remember the idea: “hug the hoody?”
So what is it in this society that allows people to become so marginalised and isolated? What is it that causes them to regress from society and abandon everything around them? It’s not something new that I will be stating here, everyone feels it but unfortunately have accepted it as the norm. People worry too much about themselves and their progress to the detriment of others, even if it is their own blood. “Peoples’ problems, wishes and concerns are NOT my concern” is the attitude. This concept is galvanised right from childhood to adulthood.
From primary school you are to evaluate your own educational progress, at college you are to select your career paths, at University you are to apply for your jobs and stay focussed on achieving your first class degree! Or if you’ve grown up alternatively to the educational pathway i.e. on the streets, where you are demanded to be part of a gang, build your rep, show your marks to be accepted and eventually graduate from one of the many HMS Prisons. Now what I’ve just stated is not always a bad thing (except the gang part), but visualise what it builds in the new generation. Where in the “growing up” period have they obtained the clear instruction on what it means to be a good human being?
The thought process, the likes and dislikes, attitudes, personality all get heavily influenced by what surroundings are around the child and teenage years. Now since here in Britain we have such a “progressive” attitude towards religion, the government can rely on the Sunday schools and parents of ethnic minorities to deal with this aspect of “creating” good humans and citizens while they work non – stop to pay bills and taxes. Then again, can such a thorough, vigorous process used to make us so individualistic be used to make us good human beings, or does even one have time to implement such a process?
So the final question is: Is it all gloom and doom for all of us when we get old or alone? No, I reject such a notion. That’s because I am aware of a group of people that won’t allow it. I am aware of a set of ideas and concepts that have been instilled in people from childhood which incidentally form the basis for their life. Where the ideals I hear about I see implemented in communities. Old parents are not allowed to be abandoned by their children after the age of 65. It is mandatory to look after them until their dying days. Neighbours, where there has been a death in the family, would not only provide comfort and a shoulder to lean on but also provide the food and water for next couple of days. If there has been a death in the community, it would be mandatory for a section of the community to come and attend the funeral
Every once a week, no matter who you are and if nobody knows you, you can attend a gathering and make “instant” friends. Friends that without question or alternative interests would help you out or come visit you during the week. If you are going thorough hardship financially, a person you can trust will help you out with no financial incentive as a goal. If a person has no family members then the state would assign someone to look after you. Ideals such as “want for your brother what you want for yourself”, sacrifice, forgiving, and helping all underpinned by one ultimate objective in life; that of pleasing the Creator. This is what will guarantee that dying alone becomes a rarity rather than the norm.
Where are these people, where do such ideals exist?
It’s from Islam. Come and have a look.
September 6th, 2008 at 4:19 PM
Very timely post.
BBC News has just published this report today: video, text. The charity Action on Elder Abuse has noted a marked increase in families stealing from their elderly relatives, including selling the elderly person’s home and stealing State benefits.
Former MP, David Blunket, has also suggested that the elderly continue to work past retirement and until incapacitated, and then use equity release schemes (i.e. sell a portion of their home) in order to fund their care.
I’m sure not every family steals from their elders, but I imagine there are a significant number of people who have simply abandoned their own flesh-and-blood. If this is the (growing) condition of families in Britain, do you really expect a change for the better? Charities telling people that they “should” care, or that their parents deserve respect — despite this being the truth — isn’t enough. It seems that this has become a cultural, systemic problem.
What do you suggest should be done?
September 10th, 2008 at 8:50 PM
As you have rightly pointed out it is a systemic problem in this society. Its not the government itself being the culprit. Its the attitudes, ideas and expectations of people who commit this immoral act of leaving thier parents in Old peoples home and conspire how quickly to take money from the property which are at fault.
If the government wanted to end the misery of old people and really look after their affairs, apart from saying they should work for LONGER, they should ensure the rest of their lives are enriched with them being with their family ultimately and fundamentally ensure they are respected at all levels of society. Which i think they can never achieve based on ideals such as Freedom, individualism and materialism.
September 10th, 2008 at 9:13 PM
Money… Funding… that’s the solution you hear these days for almost every problem…
Don’t get me wrong – I definitely agree that you virtually always need funding to drive a solution through – but money isn’t a solution in itself. The real question is why should people even bother about old people, their neighbours, etc? What’s the incentive? Concepts based on karma (“what goes around comes around” or “if you help people, one day someone will help you”) are no longer adequate nor convincing.
Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an in meaning:
“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them a shoulder of humility, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood.” ”
[Translation of the Meaning of the Qur’an, Surah Al-Isra’ 17:23-24]