I remember only a couple of years ago when I decided it was time to get married. Who would be that person who could complement my life, my personality and tolerate my shortcomings? Once I’d find someone I thought the rest would be easy… but then the next question comes to mind… the Wedding! SubhanAllah, how is that going to turn out? What about the wedding clothes, the location, the food? Being in that age group my friends were thinking about the same issues. Some being a bit more eccentric than me were discussing the music, lighting and even the image they want to portray to everyone on their wedding day. It is a given that people have different tastes in terms of enjoying and celebrating a happy occasion, and rightly so. However, as a Muslim I found my friends and I were being pulled between the standards and expectations we were surrounded by and the need to stick to the limits set by Allah (swt)
Muslims from different ethnicities have colourful and exotic costumes and rituals which as a result enriches the Islamic culture. I don’t have a wealth of information about how our Muslim brethren in Nigeria, Libya or Indonesia celebrate a wedding, but I do have some familiarity with the Indian sub–continent. Believe it or not, because of the different events leading up to the day when the wife departs with her husband to their new home, wedding festivities can sometimes go on for a whole week!
In this country, the diverse backgrounds of Muslims is reflected in the various ways that they celebrate their weddings. Some just have a nikah, where the marriage contract is signed, followed by a feast. For others, the bride’s family organise the nikah and wedding ceremony, and subsequently the bridegroom’s family arrange a walima, which traditionally signals the consummation of the marriage.
In Islam, marriage is a sunnah (tradition) of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) which he wholeheartedly encouraged the youth to practice, and to enjoy the delights of peace and tranquility in companionship. The Prophet (saw) said
“O you youngsters. Whoever amongst you who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him more to lower his gaze and guard his modesty.” Narrated by Ibn Masud r.a.
Thus, when a marriage is Islamic, it is an act of worship to the Creator and beneficial for 
our hereafter. Given the well-known scenario I’ve just highlighted, we’re left to question why in some weddings do abominable acts occur in the blessed act of marriage? Examples which come to mind are women and men freely interacting without any observance of lowering the gaze, or not carefully moderating what they speak about to the opposite gender. Shouting out come on let’s dance?! While blasting music through speakers and dancing in provocative manner, does not the believer fear the punishment of Allah (swt) that will meted out to them on the Day of Judgment?
What is even more mortifying are the fellow Muslims looking on and participating in the evil deed. One can narrowly imagine that the bridegroom has gone barmy mad in the ecstasy of getting married but can’t his “friends” remind him that his actions are haraam (forbidden)? Due to the suffocating indulgence in lapping up all the Bollywood culture, these individuals seek to emulate the celebrities and make Bollywood their source of culture and identity. The overwhelming pressure of trying to achieve this “progress” set by the today’s society via soap operas, bollywood films, chitter chatter amongst like minded individuals draw the person on adopting such culture and interest, which ultimately will lead to their demise in this world and in the hereafter.
It is ironic that in a society that celebrates and honours individuality, a situation has arisen where individuals strive to conform to stereotypes manufactured by the media. Originality is something unattainable for most yet so many claim it. The uninviting thing about these identities is that those who adhere to them believe that they are in some courageous way rebelling against society, but in actual fact they are simply fitting neatly into the stereotypes provided by society.
Quite frankly, Muslims who do this begin to fundamentally differ from the Qur’an in their philosophy on life. There is no difference between the above activity and a nightclub or a bar. The objective in both instances is to have butt–wild fun and enjoy yourself without regard to the loss of the Islamic values. They are no different to those non–Muslims that the Quran seeks to guide to the right path, except that they say they are believers.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) said,
“Whoever resembles a people is one of them.” (Abu Dawood)
Muslims who participate in un-Islamic actions should question their soul: do they really believe?
